THE HOLLOWS:
An Online Grief-Tending Group for Perinatal Loss
Supporting Miscarriage · Stillbirth · Infant Loss · TFMR · Infertility · IVF · SIDS
November 3rd to January 26th, 12 weeks of meetings. Held to 8 members
In the redwood forest, fire sometimes burns all the way into the heart of a tree. It leaves a hollow, a cavern, a blackness, evidence of what it has been through, what it still holds.
And yet the tree lives, keeps growing, with this space inside of it. This deep scar is carried into everything it becomes next. It is beautiful to behold. There is something that draws one in when seeing these caverns, a sense of wanting to be there, of being held.
This group is a circle for that kind of hollow, the one carved into you by a love and a loss that cannot be separated. It is a place to be met in the wisdom and heart of others who know this place, and rest in the dark center of it all. When we are accepted in our most tender places, our center, our sorrow, so much healing can occur.
This is a space for those living alongside the death of a baby, the loss of a pregnancy, or the losses that come with infertility and IVF.
This is not a place to resolve your grief. It is a place to be met in it.
The Hollows is for you if:
You want community to help understand and carry the sorrow and love of your loss.
You appreciate engaged, embodied learning, like working with writing, grounding, breath, drumming, ritual.
You are functioning on the outside and exhausted within by how much you are holding.
You want to be among others who truly understand what you are going through, and not have to explain why it hurts so much.
You are at a loss to understand how to live your life and work with your sorrow at the same time
The Practices
Each session of this Grief -Tending Circle will have a reliable format.
Grounding
We will begin with a time of grounding practice, allowing ourselves to transition into this space together.
Learning/Practice
20-30 minutes of resourcing through connecting to an author, a poem, a practice, a related myth, or some education about the grief path.
Sharing/Community
Time for members to connect with each other and share what is arising for you in your grief. This doesn’t need to be a nugget of wisdom (but it can be). We welcome the struggle, the anger, the many colors and textures that emerge in life as you find out how to keep going with this heartache. The sharing time will be carefully facilitated, with pauses as needed for grounding and breathing. All elements are optional.
We will work with:
Writing, a practice of naming what is true, what you remember, without needing it to be polished or shared.
Sound, drumming and rattling, sound that moves grief through the body rather than only through thought. (You can use whatever you have, sticks, your own body, or instruments)
Earth, grounding practices that return you to your body and the present moment, and help you feel woven into the cosmos.
Breath, simple, embodied ways of settling the body, mind and heart, especially in moments that feel too big to hold still.
Every practice is invitational, never required. You will never be asked to perform your grief, simply showing up just as you are is a gift to the group.
Group Details
WHEN: Sessions are from November 3rd - January 26th, with time off for holidays. Apply by October 27th.
Tuesdays at 1pm-2:30 PST.
This is an ongoing group, with 12 week commitment periods. People may stay as long as they like, with gates opening to leave or for new people every 12 weeks.
WHO: This group is for anyone who has walked through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant loss, termination for medical reasons, SIDS, IVF and infertility, who wants to tend to their grief in community. Whether your loss was 5 weeks or 50 years ago, you are welcome. All genders and identities welcome. This will be a small group of 8 or fewer participants only.
WHAT: This group will provide apprenticeship in the way of grief, and in community. We will have time for dropping in, and grounding. Time for learning practices for grief, drum and song, and simple ritual. And time for sharing your path and stories. This is not a therapy group, but a grief-tending space, facilitated by Jessica Malmberg, who is a Grief and Trauma Therapist, a Grief Ritual facilitator, and a mama who has walked through the loss of her infant for 18 years.
WHERE: Participants may join from anywhere in the USA or world, as long as you can log in to zoom at this time.
COST: $90 per session for 12 weeks. ($1000 if paid in full - $80 discount) Payment plans are available.
My Approach
My approach is gentle and patient. It is informed by depth, by the idea that grief is not only something to manage, but something to listen to, with its own images, its own timing, its own wisdom. I trust the pace of the soul over the fast pace the modern world expects.
This work will be rooted in old human ways of tending sorrow, with drumming, singing, quiet, ritual, tuning into the body, being in the presence of others. Long before grief became something we were taught to keep private, people gathered, made sound, expressed their loss in community. Here we will be creating a communal space to listen, to be with what hurts, and to leave room, always, for love.
About the Facilitator
Jessica Malmberg, LMFT is passionate about grief tending. Having walked with the loss of her infant son for 18 years, she knows the dark realms well and has learned how navigate this territory, finding wild trails, music, poetry and community to be steady guides.
She completed the Grief Ritual Training with Francis Weller, and has spent several years in soulful community in weekly meetings with he and a community of people with hearts open to being with grief. She is also participating regularly in community with Keening Course through Weaving Remembrance, learning ancient grief practices of Scotland and Ireland. She also facilitates a yearly 2 day Grief Ritual for pregnancy and infant loss.
She has found that the darkness of grief creates fertile soil for dreams, love and joy and loves to provide a space to be with the fullness of it all. She actively works with parents who have gone through miscarriages, infertility, TFMR, stillbirth, infant loss, SIDS, IVF and infertility, and welcomes their big broken hearts.
Join us
Imagine: instead of people pulling away, overwhelmed by your story, dismissing the intensity of your pain, they are leaning in. They are valuing what you know. They are wanting to hear more.
Instead of feeling isolated, alone in the void of the deep losses of pregnancy, of stillbirth, of infant loss, of termination for medical reasons, infertility, you could have a group of other grieving parents on this path, figuring out how to live now, how to take the next step, how to keep living with this loss, and this love. And finding the gold that is there in the dark.
That is what this circle is for. You are welcome here.
Have some questions? Reach out here